THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

                   Alright, you know that this pasta is going to be important if I named my blog after it. WHO WAS PHONE? as it is often called, is the most famous "troll pasta" there is. A troll pasta is a more than often a parody of a creepypasta, designed to be humorous, rather than scary. So, if I'm supposed to be reviewing scary pasta, why even bother with something like this. Well, as embarrassing as it is, I feel...that this pasta is the most important in all of the creepypasta library. For those of you who have read this pasta, you will either facepalm, or ask what illegal narcotic I am currently hopped up on. For those of you who haven't, well, I hope you aren't drinking anything, because if you are, prepare for massive beverage ejection. Here is the most important pasta in all creation.

'So ur wid yo honi and ur makin out wen the phone ringz. U ansr it n da voice sayz "wut r u doin wit ma daughter?"

u tel ur girl n she say "ma dad is ded."

THEN WHO WAS PHONE?' 

                    Well. It appears that I may have bitten off more than I can chew with this one. This has to be the most jumbled mess of a pasta I have ever read. And I have read a lot of them. I guess I have no choice now. You're all just waiting to see how I'm going to possibly make head or tail of this abomination. 

                     Initial Thoughts: 

                    I thank God that I am not an English teacher. The sheer amount of gammarical errors in this "story" are so immense, it's amazing that I can even find one scrap of story in it. How did this possibly become so famous? No doubt it's that last line, the absolute pinnacle of internet cultural keyboard face rolling. There is absolutely no way that this was accidental. There is thought behind this incompetency. Deep and utter guile in the placements of misspellings. So, where to begin? 

                   The Fame: 

               

                   I think this story fits quite nicely in the 'so bad its good' category, a category solely held for movies written by, starring, and directed by Tommy Wiesau. The story is bad, and I wouldn't let it near the children anytime soon, but there is a kind of Tiny Tim charm to it. Also, that line has become meme history. Don't know what a meme is? Then you shouldn't be on the internet. 

                 The Importance: 

                  Enough beat around the bush. It has sassed us enough. Why do I think this that story is so important. Well, if you remember back to my first post, I listed off structure points of creepypasta. Well, as broken as this...thing is, it actually has the most important elements propping it up, like a baby on crutches made of titanium. Let's break it down. 

'So ur wid yo honi and ur makin out-

                  Alright stop. Here is the most important part of any creepypasta. The sense of normalcy. Yes, it looks like it was run through a paper cutter equipped blender with a bear mauling at the end, but it's recognizable. He's just making out with his girlfriend. What's wrong with that? Well, it's either that, or he has mouth in a talking jar of honey. That would actually make this story scary. 

wen the phone ringz.

So, what do we have here. Well, this is the part where things begin to stir, or when the sense of normalcy begins to wear on itself. So, this unnamed guy is interrupted by a phone call. Still pretty normal. In fact a little too normal. This is ASCENDED NORMALCY. 

 U ansr it n da voice sayz "wut r u doin wit ma daughter?"

So this is where the horror escalates. If there was any. Yeah, it isn't scary. Unless you start to think about why a jar of honey has a father. Then we start having problems.  

u tel ur girl n she say "ma dad is ded." 

THEN WHO WAS PHONE?' 

This should be pretty obvious. This is the big twist. The one that makes you rethink about what you have just  read. And shudder. Or in this case, wonder what just happened, and then agonize a corner of your house, normally populated by the dust bunny king, that you just never had the moxie to defeat. It is confusing to say the least. It is so...WRONG but it feel so right. Why? What is it about those four words that eludes all explanation, and yet sticks in your mind like a surgeon's scapal? WHO WAS PHONE has become a meme, and a running joke on /x/, the great kingdom of creepypasta, made of glass and fermenting cabbage. So, with all of this, why is it important. The REAL reason. 

                      Well...

            Here's my thoughts. Think back to my urban legend argument, and also to any urban legends that you have heard. Think back to how many of those start with two people making out, or planning on it? Yeah, see. Like 3, maybe four. However, despite the lack of ones that I can think about at the top of my head, the most famous urban legend is arguably, The Hook. Yeah, we all know it. Two kids making out with mad loot in the back of the car. The radio, who got jealous of the two, blasts some news story, crazy maniac, hook on car, who was phone. What I'm getting at is...WHO WAS PHONE is the middle ground between the urban legends of yesteryear, and the modern internet creepypastas. It has all of the makings of an urban legend (making out, creepy phone call, dead father, etc) but with that internet flavor (like sprinkling cholera on a hot dog. It so internet-ish (scientific term) and so much like an urban legend, it just falls in between in a big spectacular mess. 

                     Conclusion: 

               So, with all of that broom bashing, what do I think of WHO WAS PHONE? Well, the fact that I named my blog after it might have something to say about it. But other than that, I love it. The first time I read this, I laughed like a loon, and from that point on, I have always looked back on it as a staple of creepypasta lore. I will also reference it from time to time, like the little internet junkie I am. 

                     Rating: 

             I suppose I could measure each and every point of why this is a great pasta. But that would be point less. Screw it. 

                     Yeah...I think I can sleep easy knowing that I gave it that score. Next time...let's look at the first creepypasta I ever read...when I was actually conscious that I was reading a creepypasta. Cause the first one I ever read, well. We'll save that one.